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Weird

I normally wait for the next meeting with eager anticipation, especially the week preceeding. This time I actually have more of an impending feeling of disappointment. I am probably getting way ahead of myself, and it may turn out just fine, but the fact that the Delaware Brewfest falls on the same night fills me with dread – Not to mention the fact that our own president isn’t coming to attend that instead… I know its unfair, but I’m not sure what kind of omen that is nor how it fortells the future.

I think another reason is that it is my birthday – and I really wanted it to be fun. Having everyone over, drinking some homebrew, relaxing… and for some reason I’ve already deemed it a failure because of all my insecurities and this damned brewfest.

For a historical perspective, let me give you some background – I joined the club in April of last year – I hosted the July meeting, and 5 people from the club came. The previous meeting had nearly 10. Most of those that came left around 9:30 or 10… in their defense, they all had very valid reasons, but I still didn’t know how to take it. I then waited a while and decided to host the December meeting. Again, probably a very stupid move because of the holidays – 4 people came. Regardless of the reasons, I have developed this “3 strikes, you’re out” mentality – Very defeatist and petty, but it is my raw honest feeling. Is there something about my house that keeps people away, or are they just my very poor choices for hosting months? Does my beer suck? Do I smell? I just don’t know.

I could bare my soul more and talk about a difficult youth, never being a popular kid, having parties that only a few fellow nerdy people came to, and the rest, but a 33 year old man should be able to get past all that childhood crap and just be an adult about it. I will at the very least have my wife, my best friend, and my parents in attendance, so I guess the rest is all gravy.

Bring it on. If **I** pour it and they *DON’T* come, their loss and more for me. (If you lost the reference, hover over the brewfest link or click on it, and check the website.)

Stupid brewfest. Stupid insecurities.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. May 12, 2005 at 7:57 pm

    Just make sure you pour. I may not have anything to bring . . .

  2. May 13, 2005 at 3:32 am

    I will be a-pourin’. Everything on tap is pretty strong (5.5% and higher), I’ve got about 6-8 gallons in the kegerator (estimate) and more in the basement in bottles and kegs.

    We will not be want for beer, don’t worry about that man.

  3. May 13, 2005 at 5:34 am

    I’ll be at the meeting! Where did you get the idea I was going to the brewfest?

  4. May 13, 2005 at 5:36 am

    Gattett, don’t start getting weird on us, dude! Starting rumors like that!

  5. May 13, 2005 at 6:48 am

    DO’H! Already we have too many Scotts in the club! I saw the response from our new friend in MD on this entry. I assumed it was you since I suck so royally at remembering names & faces.

    I still wonder how many folks will come, but I suppose we’ll find out next week.

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